i feel like i’m a teenage girl again, the rush of endorphins when you catch my gaze and you never seem to be the first to look away. my cheeks and my ears feel warm just thinking about you. i wonder what you thought of me when you first introduced yourself that one morning in the hallway. you told me you asked your friend about me because you’d never seen me until that day.
i changed my hair, it was short, purple, and i had just cut these janky bangs i kept fumbling with. my goal was to become this new girl, a cooler version of myself, because i had just been rejected so many times by the same person who wanted nothing to do with me. then you came along. i remember wearing this 2000s-era juicy tracksuit I had just bought from depop, along with my new hair, and i felt confident. you extended your hand out to me and the moment we touched and you smiled that big smile, i knew i wanted to know more about you.
a few days later, you made your way toward me and we talked about simple things like work and what we were up to over the weekend. i found myself smiling at the fucking cement because i couldn’t keep eye contact with you. the sun was beating down on us and there wasn’t an ounce of sweat on you. i, however, was burning up in my juicy tracksuit. i tried to focus on something else, and i couldn’t stop staring at your lips when you spoke to me. your lips, god your lips, the most perfect shade of pink i think i had ever laid my eyes on.
then you asked for my number. i tried playing it cool, but my heart was racing and my hands were sweating, making disgusting wet marks on my phone as i typed your number in my contacts. when we parted ways, the first thing you sent me was fast car by tracy chapman and you asked me if i ever heard it. of course i had, who hasn’t?! you told me you had just listened to it and you wanted me to know it too. i want to know you like you know this song.