i’m currently over 2,000 miles away from home and i’m still getting judgements and projections of fear from my mother. her opinion is important to me, but so is mine. fuck, i’m 26 this year and i need to fly from the nest. in all honesty the nest has BEEN too big for me, i’m outgrowing the world i’ve been living in. so i’m seeing a psychic so she can tell me something about my life. am i on the right path? will i ever make it out of my hometown and to california? does mr. modelo like me as much as i like him? so many questions that need answers immediately!
manifest, use rose quartz, journal, listen to my intuition, and speak up more is what i gathered from the reading. i definitely could’ve just done tarot on myself for free. there’s just something special about the spiritual world and i find myself drawn to it. when i talked about my experience and the fact that i even saw a psychic, i was met with pushback. questions of why, if i genuinely believe, and the fact that i was definitely scammed ($75). scam or not i fuck with the hustle. respect to her and all that she does, plus it could’ve been more! my most coveted reader offers services starting at 150, so i think 75 is more than fine.
in other news, it’s my last full day here in LA, and i’m just reflecting on my time here. I’ve had bouts of anxiety here and there, over nothing really, but if i look past that aspect, i was truly happy every day being here. i’m sitting by the pool as i type this. i’m so grateful that this is my life and i get to experience moments like these. yes, i’d like to get back to normalcy, i miss my cat, and surprisingly, i miss work. i don’t miss being in my room for hours, doomscrolling or smoking in the same little spot everyday, hoping the high lasts longer than the time it takes to make it back to my room. out here, i don’t feel the need to smoke to escape, i love being present here, i want to remember every single detail about this place. i even checked out an apartment that i fell in love with. i just have to start saving and stop blowing my money on shit that doesn’t even matter. getting just a taste of california isn’t enough anymore. i want it all. i want this to be my new home. it’s welcomed me with open arms. i pray i pray and i pray that soon i’ll be able to call california home. i know i will, plus the psychic said so! i can’t deny fate. never have, never will.
i also want to take a moment to recognize what’s been going on in LA since i’ve been here. there have been protests against these undercover ICE raids happening here. ICE needs to be abolished, how can someone be illegal on land that was stolen anyway? FUCK ICE AND FUCK THAT CRIMINAL IN OFFICE. ACAB TOO. solidarity to all the protesters who are fighting for human rights. if you can’t go out at least speak up, silence means you’re complicit.
Read this as i ate my sandwhich in a park, perfect lunch break read tysm for sharing